The Turtle Man: O Homen Tartaruga

Oi! Tudo Bom?

August 10^th to August 23^rd

After a heavy, heavy dose of sleep over the previous, I was once again feeling better event though Sao Paulo weather at this time was that of a frozen tundra. From Tuesday to Thursday, I basically taught English every day and when the weather was ok I would attempt to paint the supports of the roof on the 3^rd floor of the trade school. To add to the frigid temperatures, the Internet decided to stop working till the 17^th which made things simply more difficult.

On Friday morning, the last team from the church Clover Hill Assembly of God in Richmond arrived. Roberto, Carlos, Roberto’s brother in-law, and I went to meet the team at the airport.

This is the team’s blog if you want to know more about them:

http://chill-brazil-2010.blogspot.com/

Here are a few of the highlights of the Richmond team from Clover Hill:

• A few of the men on the trip especially Troy, who can basically rebuild any car with his eyes closed, were very good welders. I was able to observe first, then actually help welding in a door and place for a window for Rafael’s kitchen, roofing to attach the corrugated roof, and the doors for the stairwells. Welding was one of the skills that really wanted to learn while I was in Brazil, so mission accomplished. A little hint for all you aspiring welders (including me) “don’t go against the grain.”

• Roberto also was finally able to get scaffolding in order to weld and paint the 3^rd floor of the trade school. Roberto had ordered the scaffolding a total of 8 weeks prior, but at least we got scaffolding finally.

• One of the women on the trip “De” was an ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher, so she took over the English classes for the week. It was very interesting sitting in on her class and learning techniques and activities that I could use for class in the future. When I wasn’t observing De teaching I basically floated around trying to help anywhere I was needed while the team was working. I have realized that it is unfair to a team that has come to work for me to step in and intrude on their work, so I basically check on the certain groups that are working on certain task and answer questions lending a helping hand instead of putting myself in the forefront.

• The team also visited the orphanage in San Bernardo and sang songs with the kids, played music with the kids, gave out thousands of kites, toys snacks, and candy. That day the team also went to Embu, the city which contains a huge outdoor market. I spent most of the time at Embu with Chris, the team leader, helping him pick up presents for his wife and 3 daughters. He eventually bought 3 handmade beautiful dresses for his daughters. I also stopped by Jozan, one of my favorite painters gallery. I bought an abstract style painting of the Red Sea opening the first time I came to Brazil, so every time I go to Embu I try to stop by and say hello. One of the nice things about our quick visit this time was that I was able to converse with him in Pork and Cheese. At Embu there was also a particularly weird site of the “Turtle Man.” The “turtle man” was basically dressed up as mother nature; he was covered in dirt, flowers, cloths, and had on a huge turtle shell with writing on it the roughly said, “Stop killing the sea!” That night we went to the church that Roberto, Rachel, and I had been going to. Although I couldn’t really understand the sermon, the music and atmosphere is very encouraging.

Crazy "Turtle-Man"

• One of the afternoons, the mission team, Roberto, Rachel, Yagel, Kelly and I went to deliver bags of food and groceries in slum near the trade school that we have done some work for previously. The slums or “favelas” are a shocking and disturbing sight, to see that people live in basically sewer runoffs, or anywhere that no one else would dare to live. The favelas came to being after many of the North Eastern Brazilian people migrated to Sao Paulo to work in the major construction projects such as the Subway, major roads and highways, etc. After these major government works begin to dry up people were left with no jobs or money, so these favela communities began to spring up anywhere possible. Today, the government even supplies them with the water and electricity, for a price of course. The team presented several households with a care package containing sugar, corn meal, salt, beans, milk, cookies and rice to every household. The team also brought suitcases full of small toys and candy to the kids. After we handed out all the bags of food, Roberto put one of the suitcases to the side and started distributing the goodies the team had brought to the kids. Roberto was in his element during this having unending smile stretching clear across his face. In the horrible conditions of the favela, the paradoxes of the world were at work as you could see Christ’s love shining in the heart and face of Roberto and Rachael as they shared love, friendship, and material needs to the families in the slums.

• When we returned home for the evening, for some odd reason the electricity was off, and since Roberto had left to gone to the grocery to get meat for the “churrascaria do Roberto” the bus driver and I attempted to deal with the situation. The bus driver, Valgima who we call “Mr. Smiley” because he never stops smiling, and I finally figured out the power was turned of earlier in the day because they were doing work in the subdivision and it hadn’t returned yet. The power turned back on while we were eating dinner after Roberto and Rachel had prepared an amazing dinner on the Brazilian style outdoor grill, which would be amazing to have in America, and the gas stove. A Brazilian outdoor grill uses only wood, which appears to be a charcoal, and you set the meat on screens over the flame, or on spooks for sausage, but before the meat goes unto the flame you dress it heavily with rock salt.

• Another hilarious event occurred the next morning, when the water ran out on the team leader of the Clover Hill team, since the cistern was not filled up due to yesterday’s power outage. Chris, the team leader, got the worst of it as the water ran out right in the middle of his shower fully soaped and shampoo, so he had to rinse off with a bucket of ice cold water from outside (although this was not humorous, the scream that Chris let out while drenching himself in the ice cold pool water was possibly one of the funniest sounds I have ever heard uttered by a human being. Think of the most annoying sound in the world from “Dumb and Dumber” turned into unfathomable scream.)

• Another highlight was the nightly “Spades” card games between Rachael and Troy and Curt and I where hilarity always issued. Whether it was engaging in polite conversations about the rules, or laughing hysterically for no apparent reason, we all had lots of fun.

Jonathan Yagel and Kelley arrived in Brazil on the morning of the 17^th, so Rachel and I left the “ranch” at about 5AM that morning to head to the airport to pick them up. We got caught in some traffic so it took us a little longer than expected to get to the airport so by the time we got there Jonathan Yagel, who is planning to be in Brazil with Roberto and Rachel till March, was already waiting for us. Kelly’s flight got delayed so we had time for Yagel to get back to the house and meet the team as they were leaving for the trade school. Rachel, Yagel and I then hopped back into the car to pick Kelly up, but when we got to the airport she still hadn’t gotten through customs and security. Her plane had landed hours earlier, but as we found out later the airline lost her luggage for the 3^rd time in her 4 trips to Brazil. Kelley works as a teacher in the inner city of West Philadelphia, in a program much like “Teach for America.”

Kelley finally got her luggage back on the 19^th while we were at the airport dropping off the team for their flight. It was really interesting to the variance between teams that come to help Seeds of Hope, but the important thing is that they all maintain the importance of relationship over work. Although it is important have progress in the building itself of the trade school, the real importance lies in the relationships created and sustained by all of the people that are involved in Seeds of Hope Brazil.

The next day, all of us were utterly exhausted from the previous weeks, so we simply chilled at the house most of the day, then later that night we went into the city to meet up with Nata. Nata took us to dance club where a good Brazilian band was playing. The band was actually very talented and sounded like a mix of Maroon 5 and Bon Jovi, but I am always amazed how much American culture has seeped into that of Brazil; the band played many American covers including an old Jason Marz song and many of their songs were remakes of popular American songs in Pork and cheese.

The next day, Kelley, Yagel, Rachel, and I decided to walk to the lunch cantina in the subdivision while Roberto decided to take “Hummingbird.” To be truthful after ¾ of the walk Roberto drove by in the car so we all simply hopped in “hummingbird.” After lunch Yagel and I decided to play soccer on the field-turf with some of the neighborhood kids. I was wearing Chacos so I decided to take off my shoes which in hindsight were a bad decision because by the end of the game my feet were bleeding due to the popped blood blisters on the pads of my feet that were induced by playing on a field turf. So be warned, don’t engage on in physical activities on field turf; it is a terrible decision. That night Nata came over the R&R’s place to have dinner then we all watch a movie together with the projector.

That Sunday we decided to go on a road trip to Santos, to see the Santos futebol (pronounced: foot-chee-ball) club play. Santos is the port town near Sao Paulo, and it is one of the biggest ports in all of Brazil. The Santos soccer team is also where the great soccer legend Pele played making a name for himself. Santos is a very exciting team since the new coach made a risky move bringing in many younger players instead of experienced players which Santos supporters wanted. One of the players he brought in was a 18 year old kid named Neymar, who is said to be the best young Brazilian soccer player and is being called the next Pele, to play beside Santos super star in the name of Robinho. Here is a you-tube clip of their team:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=937OQSwhb-U&feature=related

On the drive to Santos we passed through one of Brazil’s national parks and were able to see an amazing waterfall.

Once we got to Santos, we went straight to the game, but we had to wait in line to buy tickets. Once again Brazil’s weird relationship with technology was displayed as you were forced to buy tickets, not by a ticket vendor but through a computer using the internet. There were two computers ticketing stations where the ticket vendor who you stood beside would put in the information on to a computer into an internet site called “futbolpass” to buy ticket. I could not for the life of me figure out why this was thought to be an efficient process because it wasn’t. The game was amazing and Neymar, is possibly the best soccer player that I have ever had the pleasure to witness with my own two eyes. Santos won 2-0; Neymar even had a goal on a penalty. That night we stopped in the mall in Mogi to grab some food at the food court.

There is much, much more to come!!!

Brazilian slang word for the day: “Valeo” it means thanks!

Moto Boys and Slides

Hello to all!

I apologize that it has been about 20 days since I last posted anything, but as I have mentioned before time works differently in Brazil. Since so much time has elapsed since my last post, I will hopefully attempt to update y’all on the past few weeks in a curt fashion (but as some of y’all know succinct writing is not one of my greater skills.)

Weekend of August 6th to Tuesday August 10^th

On this Friday, Rachel, Roberto, Pati, and I went into the city to get some school supplies for the trade school. In order to not pay a fortune for a single box of crowns (I have and always will call them crowns not crayons), we had to go to a discount street side store, which in reality was not that much of a discount. For example a cheap playground slide was priced at 629 reals, which is about $400.

We got some bigger chalkboards, balls for dodge-ball, and other school supplies. While Roberto and I were standing in line, I played the role of a clueless America by pressing all the auto-mated guitar strumming “Bob” large action figures so the entire 4 tier tower was rockin; I also decided to see if a Brazilian fog horn was as loud as a American one. The verdict: it was equally as loud or louder. After we left the so-called discount store, we all went to the city market “The Mercado Municipal,” to buy some shrimp and other ingredients for my mother’s BBQ shrimp recipe, which I made for Roberto and Rachel that night. It was delicious! On the ride back from the city we witnessed the most absurd hit and run I have ever witnessed. In Brazil, the “motto-boys” act as if they own the world so on this day a car slammed on his brakes as a motorcycle was weaving in and out of traffic. When the car stopped, the “moto-boy” that was only inches behind his car slammed into the back of this man’s Chevy Impala. The lunatic flew of his motorcycle slamming his back into the Chevy’s back windshield. The motto-boy instantly, in considerable pain, fell off the side of the Chevy struggled to his feet, freed his bike from the Chevy’s bumper desperately tugging at his bike, and drove his disheveled bike away leaving a dust trail of parts that had came loose from the crash. During this time the driver, had gotten out of his car to yell at the motorcyclist that was driving away when 2 other “motto-boys” surrounded the man and his Chevy so he was not able to chase after injured motto-boy. Roberto and Rachel said that a lot of the “motto-boys” don’t have licenses, or even ride stolen bikes so that kind of thing happens. The poor man’s Chevy was left with a huge dent on its back hatch and a detached back bumper.

On Saturday we had an activity “fun” day at the trade school. Jarrett wanted to help out that Saturday so Roberto went to the train station to pick him up while Rachel and I caught up on some sleep on Roberto’s sisters house. Luckily, for no real reason, I awoke at 8:55AM just barely in time to open up the school of the Fun Dayat the trade school at 9AM. I luckily got to the school at 8:59, but I forgot that the alarm was set so when I opened the door the alarm blared waking up half the neighborhood before Rafael could hop out of his shower to turn off the alarm. That day, we played a bunch of games with the kids and had an epic game of dodge ball. That night Roberto and Rachel had to go to a Brazilian wedding, so I stayed at the “Rancho da Rachael,” and just watched some movies.

The next morning when I woke up I felt terrible so I stayed in bed pretty much all day. Roberto, Rachel, and I did go get some lunch at the small restaurant right outside of their subdivision, but I wasn’t feelin up to snuff for church or anything else. It was really cold in Sao Paulo and since the houses in Brazil make it colder when it is cold and hotter when it is hot, it was difficult for mw to ever really fully recover.

That Monday morning, I was still feeling sick but I taught both of the classes all the same but we went back to the “Ranch” early so I could get some sleep to feel better. Roberto and Rachel went to the supermarket right after we got home and came back with firewood, so I simply snuggled up next to the fireplace and fell asleep.

More to come very, very soon!!!

Br-Oz-il Update

In Brazil things aren’t exactly backwards but they are backwards, parallel, diagonal, and all other ways around.

Things Backwards

• Trips to the Bank: Once again we come back to the issue of time in Brazil concerning the bank. When you make a trip to the bank, you better bring a sleeping bag and your footie pajamas because you will be waiting there for hours.

• Hardware Stores: So in the States, when you need to make a home improvement you could mosey on down to local hardware store, or The Home Depot and find pretty much anything where you will probably be helped by a bearded, rugged, mysterious employee resembling Al Borland from “Home Improvement” wearing what looks like a pocketed kitchen apron. Well, in Brazil hardware stores exist, but they are about as big as a matchbox. If you wanted to buy screws with differing sizes and lengths too bad so sad, because all they will give you are a handful of flat-head screws (who in their right mind uses flathead screws). Further, you are not able to rents tools; therefore your only option is to shell out some serious green to even buy a hammer on layaway. So if you need to use a chainsaw to sculpt an ice sculpture of a swan, or any other tool you might as well start investing in a ROTH IRA, or get involved with an insider-trading scheme.

• Washer and Dryers: In America you usually hear the words washer and dryer in the same sentence, well in the Land of the Brown this would be true if by dryer you meant clothespins and rooftop. Dryers here do exist (unless you are getting kickback government corruption money). So, hope and pray that the day you do your laundry there will be sun, and no rain.

• Infatuation with Corn: I will be the first person to say that I could eat corn on the cob everyday of my life (buttered and seasoned either cooked on the grill, boiled in water, or any other way to get that goodness in me). But in this foreign land, Brazilians have taken corn to a whole other level. There are corn-flavored popsicles, there is corn-flavored ice cream, and there is also some type of corn mash wrapped in the shuck of the corn (which is suppose to be a sugary treat like a Snickers bar, but it taste like eating corn flavored butter). Brazilians will even try to sell you corn in the dead heat of the summer on the beach, while you feel like a turkey roasting in the oven.

Things Diagonal

• Payment Plans: A common theme in this blog is the ludicrousness of the inflated price for imported goods in Brazil. Instead of increasing the manufacturing of these imported goods in Brazil, or lessoning the burden and taxes for companies to export goods to Brazil, this nation decided to solve this problem by intensifying the penalty for missed payments and bounced checks. A pair of real Nike running shoes could cost about $250 dollars at a shop in the mall, so in order to afford those sneaks the store allows you to pay for the shoes in 12 payments rather than all at once. In America, usually this is done with a car or a house not a pair of Reeboks. The kicker is that if you miss any of you payments or one of your checks bounce more than twice your life ends; you are unable to get a license, it is almost impossible to get a job, you basically became a leper.

• Lotteries: There are lotteries in Brazil (even some scratchers), but most people use the lotto to pay their utility, and other monthly bills. You could also pay your bills online, but the peculiar thing is that you can’t pay bills through the mail. So when the first of the month comes around you can either use the bank, the lotto, or the World Wide Web.

• Malls: In the previous blog post, I mentioned that there are well over 50 malls in Sao Paulo alone. Malls in America seem to serve multiple purposes such as a local where teens and pre-teens hang around the movie theater, or food court attempting to ascend to the top of the precarious social ladder in Middle School, at place for desperate shop-a-holics browse for items rather than buy them, at destination moochers get a full meal by simply trying the free samples at Panda Garden, Mandarin Express, or Cinnabun, or for all of mankind to fool with the wizardry of whatever newfangled gadgets are at the Apple Store which Steve Jobs is pushing on us like Tina Faye’s character in “Mean Girls.” When I make a trip to the mall it is either as a place of last resort, or I simply wanted to fool around in The Sharper Image or Brooks-Stone (either by setting up camp in an absurdly priced massage chair, playing with a real life replica of a light-saber, or trying to rationalize buying a wearable movie replica of a Storm Trooper) but in the Land of the Brown the mall is the Mecca of all life. Think of the mall as a well in biblical times, or the baths of the Roman Empire. Everyone and their mother (also their brother and evil stepsister) will be at the mall; they might be at the food court, getting a massage, or even playing in the amusement park bumper boat ride on the 1st floor of the mall, but the mantra that Ray Kinsella heard in the movie “Field of Dreams” rings true concerning the Brazilians and the mall “If you build it he (they) will come.”

• Parking: In Brazil, Professor Ken Elizanga’s lesson in Econ 101 that nothing is free (because there is always a marginal utility attached, or sacrifice made) comes to fruition with parking in Brazil. At the mall, the supermarket, restaurants, etc. parking always will cost you at least 2 to 6 or even more reais (real is the plural form, Brazilian money) although you can park on the street the marginal utility is that you might come back to find your on blocks, without a radio, even your last piece of gum that you left inside the center counsel might be stolen.

• School: In Sao Paulo, kids go to school for only 4 hours a day, but there are up to 3 different school sections. Since the schools are too big and have too many students, instead of building more schools Brazil decided to simply have 3 different sessions of school during the day. The school day starts at 7AM with one set of students, then at 11AM with another set of students, and then at 3PM with another set. In Brazil, extracurricular activities and sports don’t exist within the school system, so what remains is simply academic.

• Trucks: In the U.S of A, usually if you have a truck the bed is big enough to hold a load of firewood or something of that nature. In this peculiar country, full size trucks simply don’t exists unless you want to sell your organs on the black market. Trucks, here, have 2 to 3 foot beds that barely fit 6 cinder blocks.

• Propane Trucks instead of Ice Cream Trucks: Think back to your younger years of little league baseball, playgrounds at the park, or even summer days at the local watering hole (i.e. the pool with a high dive which haunts you the entire summer until you muster the courage to defeat this concrete diving board beast). When I recall these childhood memories, an affable, playful musical song of an Ice Cream Truck begins to ring in my ears. In Brazil, when you hear a melodious jingle resonating from the streets below the trade school, you will not find ninja turtle popsicles, or orange push pops from your youth but you will find a truck selling propane tanks. Ovens, stoves, and multiple other household devices run on stand-alone propane tanks. On a side note, last night Rachel and I discovered that the reason that her oven has not been working is because the previous renters of the house decided to take the propane tank that was use for the oven as a going away present.

Hoi! Tudo Bom?? (Hello! Tudo Bom/Tudo Bem, are used similar to what’s up, or living the good life)

Monday

Last night, I finally remembered to bring all the supplies from the trade school to fix my bed, even though Roberto did have to remind me as we were walking out. In order to fix the bed, I had to glue and hammer nails into the wood supports to attach 2 pieces of inch thick wood to the sides of the boards to make them longer. During the process, Roberto knocked on the door at about 12:30 telling them that my hammering was waking the neighbors. I apologized and breathed a sigh of relief for 2 reasons: 1) I had just finished the last piece and all I had left to do was reassemble the bed and attach a layer of duct tape (can anyone think of anything better? I submit that you cannot) to the ends of the boards to further strengthen my resolve, and 2) Usually in Brazil, the policy is call the police first then ask questions later. Neighbors will call the police on each other for the pettiest of things rather than simply using their own to feet and ringing a doorbell.

Tuesday-Wednesday

The next morning the temperature had dropped significantly and it was actually cold. Yes, it is currently winter in Brazil (although it is the tail end of winter), but cold in Brazil is basically anything below 70, which is ridiculous I know. So R&R, and I walked out the door (in light jackets because I am not even sure if they make any type of heavy jackets in Brazil) hopped in “Hummingbird” and made our way to the trade school.

The first class at 10AM is the bigger class of 30 younger kids, from ages 9 to 14. I am still trying to learn the kids in my classes’ names, but it is very difficult because it is hard for me to even pronounce some of their names (hip-hip-hooray for dyslexia). Some of the students names are Danide, Safria, Amanda (which is not pronounced the American way at all) Dayane, Tatiane, Elisangela and multiple others names whose pronunciation seems like trying to solve a rubric cube. Also, many of my students have the same name currently in both classes there are 3 guys named Lucas, 3 guys named Victor, 3 guys named Roberto, 4 girls named Rebecca, 3 Diana’s, 4 Tatiane’s or Tatiana’s, and more. Everyday I end up staring at one of my students like a deer in headlights searching all expanses of my mind for their name to no avail, so I have to ask them their name for the thousandth time. I started the class with the song “New Shoes” by Paolo Nutini because we were doing a lesson on different types of clothes. This class ended up being by far the most difficult, and frustrating class since being in Brazil. There are always more side conversations then I would like during class (some of the time the kids are explaining the lesson to each other, and other times they simple are chatting it up but me Pork-and-Cheese isn’t good enough at this time to tell the difference). The real frustrating thing was that the entire class was devoted to working on the vocabulary of clothes, yet even after we had done multiple fill in the blank exercises on the board most of the people that I brought up to the board had no clue what we were doing. I don’t know if they weren’t paying attention or just didn’t care that day. The hard part was I began to wonder if what I was teaching was not exciting, or was I not a good teacher, or did the students simply not care. But by today (Thursday) all my classes went great, and I am just going to chalk it up to an off day. Faulkner style!

Rachel and I had lunch at Roberto’s sisters house, Brazilian fried rice (leftovers), without Roberto because he got caught up working in the woodshop. The night before, we had gotten back to R&R’s house real late so Roberto decided to make Brazilian fried rice. Roberto’s does a countless number of things marvelously, but sorry to say cooking is not on that list. Rachel and I were sitting in the kitchen watching Roberto add eggs, rice, the leftover ribs from Outback, and peas with the fervor of a contestant on the game show “Iron Chef.” Roberto himself will honestly say that the kitchen is not his domain, even though Roberto claims he is not the best cook the Brazilian fried rice he made was delectable (even though Rachel did already prepare the rice, and slipped some soy sauce in the rice unbeknownst to Roberto). At lunch, Rachel put me at ease to the previous class and then I was on my way back to the trade school in great spirits for my next English class.

The next class was a lot easier I think because the students were older, or simply God was smiling on us. After that class I taught another class to 3 new students who had just joined, since we had decided to move the start time of the second class to 2:00PM. I decided to simply do a quick review of this and last weeks classes for these 3 new students, Micxiheal, Bruna, and Talani. I was basically getting a handle on the level of knowledge they had for the English language. After the students left, Rafael (pronounced Haf-fe-el almost all R’s are pronounced with a hard H in the Sao Paulo accent) and I played some games of ping pong where, sadly, I was defeated 2 to 5 on the field of battle. After that I did some work in the shop and in the office, we all headed back to the “Palace de Pena.” Rachel made chicken cacciatore which was real yummy, and we all sat around the kitchen table talking about discussing questions like why do Brazilians love American culture so much, business venture in Brazil, and other various topics.

Wednesday

It was equally as cold this morning as the last, but rain was to added to the mix. ☹ Due to this further depression in temperature, I had to forgo the Atlanta Braves hoodie and switch from missiles to guns and adorn the Arcteryx pullover. Yes I am talking about my clothing choice, deal with it. We got to the school a little earlier today so I could prepare further for the first class. I decided to change up the strategy for this class. I decided to pass out dictionaries to the 31 students that came this morning and began with the song “Everybody Needs Somebody” originally by Wilson Pickett but I played the version from the movie The Blues Brothers. Today’s lesson was on body parts so I wrote either English or Pork-and-cheese words on the board and then the students had to come up to the board and fill in the blanks. This method worked a lot better. I also, disciplined the class more than usual, pulling one of the girls to the very front of the class because I caught her passing notes (she was actually throwing paper balls of crumpled up messages across the room). After the class ended, I made her sweep the floors of the classroom then I told her I know she wasn’t the only one involved but she was the one I caught so if I caught her again I might send her home. That is actually a very big threat because class at the trade school is free, and other English classes in Sao Paulo are very expensive, so basically she would be throwing away a free gift, with no utility attached to it. Also, I heard today that one of my students Barbara, who is an average student, knows more English vocabulary and conversational skills than her friend who is paying for an English class. Apparently the girl paying for the other classes told Roberto at the trade school today while she was inquiring about taking classes their as well.

On my count Americano 1, Brazilian English Teacher 0. In the face!

After the first class, I answered some emails then headed with R&R to Roberto’s sisters house to have lunch, some of the chicken cacciatore from the night before. Before lunch, I turned on the TV, which is usually what I use to decompress at home (I guess that is what I am using this blog for), and I learned that if you were watching an English program if you set the audio to SAP it will be in English. So, happily, I got to enjoy the Disney program “Raven” although I never watched a minute of that shoe in the U.S., I did somewhat enjoys the mindlessness of the television. Is it weird to anyone else that our culture is completely content to watch other people do things while we sit on the couch like a mindless zombie. Technically we are watching other people pretending; it sort of reminds me of Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, and even the wandering eyes of Dr. T.J. Eckleburg. But, all that said, I do love good television, and I miss it.

Anyway, the next class was suppose to start at 2 but 3 students arrived early so I took them up to the computer lab and let them play games on the computers. One of the kids was playing a cool game similar to the classic Minesweeper but there was an astronaut doing the minesweeping. I decided to play the song “Love’s Divine” by Seal for this class, if any of y’all haven’t heard this song I am demanding that you buy it immediately, because it is simultaneously heart-breaking, exquisite, poignant, intense, and so much more. I had over 20 students in this class and we did the same thing as the first class but I added a lesson on irregular plurals that included when words end in a y add ies when they end in a o add es and stuff like that. After class I once again challenged Rafael to ping-pong and lost 1-2. I guess he has my number this week.

After that I did some work in the office Skyped my mom, dad, and sister. I just want to say Skype is literally the bomb dot com. I really don’t know how anything got done without the Internet, or further computers. When I am teaching class, it is so much easier to have my computer on the desk next to me opened to Google translation than waste class time trying to find the definition of a word a student says in the dictionary. I do try to only talk in English during class, and I ask my students to do the same, but I sometimes have to explain things using both English and Portuguese. Later, I downloaded the new Arcade Fire album which to be honest I am not too sure about it, but I really have hardly listened to it and with a belly full of chicken Parmesan, I went to bed!!

Thursday

Rachel and I woke up to another cold morning at the Palace, but this time it was actually in the 50’s. Roberto had already woken up at 5:00 AM and been picked up by his brother in law, because they were going with Roberto’s niece, to the U.S. Embassy to get a student visa for her because she is trying to go to college in Richmond. This is the second time that she has gone to the U.S. Embassy to get her visa, and the first time they told her she needed to return with more paperwork. Sad to say, she got the same response at the U.S. Embassy today. I told her in jest that I would write a letter to the U.S. Embassy saying, “I, Wilson Dean Oswald, am a American and I love America. She is not a terrorist, or a threat to national security so please give her a student visa so she can learn how to love America and freedom.”

Rachel and I hopped in “Hummingbird” a set out for the trade school. My English class today had about 30 students, and I decided since it was the end of the week I would let them listen to “I Gotta Feeling” by The Black Eyed Peas. Truthfully, I think this song is a really fun song, and is one of the best opening songs for any-band with a crowd that wants to shake their groove thang. Just the existence of the word “Mazel tov” in the song makes it respectable, hilarious, and fun. One of the phrases that we reviewed in the song was “raise the roof,” and I am 90% sure that they understood the meaning, but only after I raised my hands in the hand shouting “the roof the roof the roof is on fire,” and then in Pork-and-cheese “o telhando o telhando o telhando em fogo (but I was later told I should have said pagando fogo instead). Whoopsies! After we went over some more vocabulary, from the song, we worked on a lesson I prepared on the days of the week and words that are used in conjunction with them. The th sound is very hard for Brazilians to say because not many of their words use that sound, so I had to explain the pronunciation of Thursday multiple times. At the end of every class I make my students to put their papers away; then I quiz them on the vocabulary from the day’s class, vocabulary in the previous classes, and I even sometimes throw in other words that we didn’t get a chance to go over from the songs. I will either say the words in English, or Pork-and-Cheese then the class says back to me the word in the opposite language. One of my favorite parts of the day is watching one of my students named Mateus, who literally jumps out of his seat when he knows the word. This class he got so excited when I said “esta noite (pr. noich)” that while he was shouting “tonight” he almost fell off his desk and hit the floor.

After class, I challenged Roberto to a ping-pong duel. Roberto apparently is a good ping-pong player although he doesn’t admit it; Rafael who usually narrowly beats me told me that he almost always loses to Roberto. So I found it a little odd when I beat Roberto 2 games to none. After that I played Rafael, and he beat me 2 games to 1. I knew something fishy was going on so later I asked Roberto, and he admitted that he had, in part, let me win. So I am currently waiting for our rematch, hopefully he puts his best foot forward this time.

The second class today was a little smaller than the day before, only about 20 people, due to differing of school schedules on Thursday. We did the same lesson as the class before, but I decided to play Shikira’s “Hips Don’t Lie” at the ardent request of the kidos. They also really wanted to here Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga, but I refuse to play Justin Bieber, and Lady Gaga’s lyrics are just down right offensive (although, if I were to be honest, I do enjoy rocking out to some of her songs). Tomorrow R&R and I are going to head into the city of Sao Paulo for the day, and on Saturday Jarrett, a American living and working in Sao Paulo, is coming to the school to teach more English classes, and we are going to have a fun day at the school.

Love, Grace, and Peace,
Oz

Additional helpful hint for talking Pork-and-Cheese in Brazil
• Use the word fala. The word falar which means to say/speak/talk/chat/and everything else under the moon. So when you come to Brazil simply use fala and everything will work out ok.
• Also just for fun, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lz0IT4Uk2xQ
o I would like to buy a hamburger.

First Few Weeks as a Gringo

Hoi! Tudo Bem!

Hello to everyone. This is my first blog post and the reality is that this is my first blog ever. As most of y’all know I am as dyslexic as one can be, so please read with caution, understanding and the resolve of a puzzle master because sometimes the meaning of my prose is hidden within my own dyslexic tendencies.

Till October, I will be in Sao Paulo, Brazil working with Roberto and Rachel Pena for Seeds of Hope Brazil. As a Gringo (anyone not from Brazil) I will be teaching English, wood-working in the workshop, helping when Mission teams come fundraising and performing numerous other tasks and activities.

Seeds of Hope Brazil is a non-profit organization dedicated to helping those who need it most—children living on the streets and in the orphanages of Sau Paulo, Brazil. These children have been abandoned, neglected, and abused by society. Many live in sub-human conditions—in garbage dumps or open sewers, without running water or sanitation. On their own, they have no way to receive an education or provide for themselves as they mature. Without intervention, their lives are almost certainly doomed to end in the prisons or on the streets of Brazil—victims of drugs, crime, and prostitution, the only outlet left in a society that has rejected them from birth. Our purpose is to be a positive influence in the lives of as many children as we can help, by providing them with food, housing, education, technical skills, and job placement. With this help, they have the opportunity to live an honest, productive, and self-sustained life for the glory of God. Here is the website http://www.seedsofhopebrazil.com/index.html

Wellington

I got involved with Seeds of Hope through the annual spring break mission trip where I have had the pleasure to come to Brazil for 4 straight years. This is my fifth and longest visit in Brazil; it has been an amazing 11 days in Sao Paulo already.

First Few Days:

I few from Atlanta to Sao Paulo, Brazil on the 21^st of July. I luckily got on the plane as I was suppose to arrive in Brazil on the 20^th but I was bumped off the flight the day before since the flight was full, and I was traveling on a buddy pass. One might ask how in the world did I get a buddy pass?? Well, Diva who is basically my second mother somehow (maybe using some sort of magic) got one for me from one of her good friends. Diva was my family’s live-in housekeeper in Atlanta from the day I was born until I was in elementary school. Diva didn’t know a word of English when she started with us so one could say that I learned English at the same time she did. Diva is originally from the South of Brazil in a state called “Rio Grande do Sur.” Although Diva did teach me how to ride a bike (even though it was during a rain storm and I was crying the entire time pleading with her to put the training wheels back on), I do wish that she would have taught me more Portuguese or as I like to call it Pork-and-cheese. Diva now lives in Atlanta operating her own drapery business, and will always be part of the Oswald family.

Luckily, God was smiling upon me when I got on the plane because the flight was completely full except a seat in first class, so on a buddy pass ticket for Delta I got the pleasure of sitting in first class for one of the first times in my life. The other time was on the 5AM flight back for a guy weekend in Vegas after I dominated the roulette tables. But anyway, first class on an international flight is so nice it is disgusting. They address you by name, entertain you with all the wine and spirits one’s heart could ever desire, they drape a white tablecloth on your seat tray, and they even ask you if you want to be peacefully aroused for breakfast. My guess is that I ate and drank the cost of my buddy pass on the flight, hopefully I get as lucky on the way back. When I took my seat in first class, I decided to not only participate in the normal airplane conversation of hellos and how are you’s but to delve deeper into the life of this complete stranger next to me. The man was the definition of a professional “man of the sky” similar to George Clooney in the movie “Up in the Air” without a feeling a emptiness and loneliness. The Delta flight attendant even thanked him for his loyalty as he was a member of the Triple, Platinum, Emerald, Gold Flyer Club. This man manufactures and sells equipment that converts residual gasoline vapor in gasoline tankers and trucks to liquid gasoline and clean air. I asked him what countries he had travelled to, and he told me that he had been to about to every country except countries in Eastern Europe because those countries like Russia have not passed a clean air act, and that is when his business becomes a necessity rather than simply a luxury.

I arrived in the morning at about 8:30 AM, and Roberto picked me up at the Sao Paulo airport. I was sitting on the cold marble floor of the airport reading Mountains Beyond Mountains while all of a sudden I feel someone knock me on the head and deliver a friendly greeting of “Hey Brotha!” Roberto and I hopped into his car and drove to meet up with the mission team that is currently in Brazil working with Seeds of Hope. The mission team consists of 24 high school kids and leaders from Roberto and Rachel’s church, WEAG in Richmond, and they had been in Brazil since Friday and were leaving on Sunday to head back stateside.

Roberto

It was great to get sort of acclimated to Brazil with other Americans. I didn’t have to simply jump into everything head first on the day I arrived, but I had time to get my bearings. One of the many great things about Roberto and Rachel living in Brazil is that mission teams now stay at Roberto and Rachael’s house “palace” in Mogi, which is right outside of Sao Paulo about 30 minutes from the trade school. They are renting this house not for themselves but really for the teams that come because the house is more like a mansion with a pool in a gated neighborhood. Although there is a lot of space for teams in the “Palace de Pena,” Roberto and Rachel still have no furniture in the house and still sleep on a mattress on the floor. Why, you ask?? Well, the container that R&R used to ship their belongings such as a refrigerator, bed, washing machine, dryer, and even personal items such as family photos are currently being held hostage be the corrupt Brazilian government for a ransom. The Brazilian Government saw that they had a dryer in the container, which in Brazil costs the U.S. equivalent of about 6000 dollars, so they decided that they should charge “extra” taxes on the shipment. R&R put so much money toward the trade school that they didn’t want to sacrifice money for the school for their own luxury. Roberto’s jokes that the title of his autobiography will be “My Life in a Container.”

After hanging out at the trade school for a little the entire team and the kids staying at the trade school Mauro, Raphael, Iago, and Wesley went to Palmeiras vs. Botafogo futbol game. There wasn’t much action in the first half but there were 4 goals in the second half with the final score of 2-2.

On the next day, we headed back to the trade school to do various tasks like painting support beams for the roof, cataloging books in the library, and working in the woodshop. I decided to bring some classic literature for the library with me from the U.S, so now the kids in the trade school are reading the real classics like The Great Gatsby, Of Mice and Men, the plays of Shakespeare, some works of Mark Twain, Robinson Crusoe, and other titles from classic literature. That night we went to the Brazilian all you can eat steakhouse which are know in Portuguese as “Churrasria.” For those of you who haven’t been to Brazil, these restaurants are like Fago de Chao or Texas de Brazil. For those of you who don’t know what a Brazilian steakhouse is they basically are an all you can eat buffet where men carry around slabs of cooked meat to your table. In Brazil they do have some additional meats that can’t be found in the states like the heart of a chicken, which basically taste like a big chunk of calamari.

The Market


The next day we went to the city market “The Mercado Municipal,” and ate pastel’s (which basically are a hot pocket filled with cheese or beef) and many different Brazilian fruits. We also walked around the historical center of the city visiting the Cathedral of São Paulo and numerous other historical sites. That night we went to a youth service at Comunidade Evangélica em SBC that was sort of the creation of a younger member of that church named Junior. The worship at the service was intense, but amazing. The girl that sang had one of the best voices I have ever heard and she knew how to lead worship. The service itself could have been great but it was cluttered with unneeded extras. Rachel and I sat in the balcony of the church “gastby-ing which means to observe people from a higher vantage point watching the anarchy that occurs below usually referring to the First Floor LNDP at Kappa Sig. During the service, they sat Roberto in the center of the room and asked him some questions about his life and Seeds of Hope. Well, for those of you who know Roberto (what is opportunity?) he could never be described as short winded, or concise in his speech, so it took about an hour to tell his life story in Portuguese while it was being poorly translated into English. Roberto and Rachel’s story is truly inspiring and amazing; I learn more details about it everyday but you can find the short version on this website http://www2.richmond.com/content/2009/jun/24/seeds-hope-roberto-penas-story-giving-back-home/ There was also a terrible comedy routine in the middle of a service, but I think that the main reason I didn’t like it was because it was all in Portuguese. The redeeming part of the service was the worship and Stephen Poore’s, the youth leader at WEAG, sermon, which was really powerful even though he it could only be about 10 minutes. So like most things in Brazil, church went long, I think it was suppose to last about a hour and a half and it was about 3 hours long. When we got back to R&R’s house they had ran out of water; this happens in Brazil because people’s water is pumped into tanks on the top of their house one a day and someone had left a facet open so all the water had drained out during the day. So the entire team had to take showers using a bucket and pool water; it was both refreshing and cold but it was a hilarious sight to see.

The next day we went to the orphanage to play with the kids, then to Sao Paulo’s Central Park called “Parque Ibirapuera.” On a side note, the orphanage’s field is still contaminated even though it looks better than it ever has. The orphanage simply tried to sweep the problem under the rung by putting sod over the contaminated dirt rather than removing it properly. It is almost more upsetting now, because the field looks better than it ever has but the kids aren’t able to go on it because they might get sick. So the only fun thing at the orphanage has been taken from them, which is depressing. After the park, we took the WEAG youth mission team to the airport, then Nata, one of Roberto and Rachel’s good friends in Brazil took us to the mall to eat at a restaurant called “Americana,” where I had a meal called the “Texas” that was basically a burger patty on a plate surrounded by French fries. For some reason, in Brazil people love malls more than humanly possible in Sao Paulo alone there are over 40 malls which is complete absurdity.

The First Week

On Monday through Thursday, I teach 2 English classes a day of about 25 kids each at 10AM and 1PM. Classes usually last about an hour and a half. Teaching class has been really fun and exhausting at the same time, because I am forced to learn the Portuguese language as I am teaching it. I chuckle to myself everyday that the Brazilian kids have a dyslexic for a teacher because even I have a hard time with the English language. I will write something on the board and then have to grab the dictionary or my computer to make sure that I spelled not only the Portuguese words right but also spelled the English words correctly. Class can be really funny because I will tell the students how to pronounce a English word then they will tell me how to pronounce the Portuguese word. I try to start every class with a song from the U.S. because all the music that the Brazilian kids know is terrible popular music such as Beyonce and Justin Beiber. Some to the songs I have played this week are “Dance Tonight” by Paul McCartney, a lot of Michael Jackson, “Human” by The Killers, “Fortunate Son” CCR, “Yahweh” U2, “Twist and Shout” The Beatles, and some others. If any of y’all have any suggestions please send them my way. The ages of the kids in the classes are from 9 to about 17 years old and most of them do not know any English at all which definitely makes my job harder and forces me to learn Portuguese better. This week our lessons consisted of greetings and salutations, Animals in the farm or in the jungle, adjectives, and fruits and vegetables.

Roberto drives both Rachel and I to the trade school every morning in the “Hummingbird” a small Fiat car that we pray can make it up the hills on the way to the trade school. Other than teaching the class I do various tasks and duties while at the trade school. Last week, I finished painting the pieces that we need to weld to the support beams of the roof, but I still need to finish painting the beams on the roof. During last week I helped Roberto, the master carpenter, in the workshop but I mostly worked on a bedside table for my room in R&R’s house. I decided to make a bedside table out of scrap wood in the wood shop, and I don’t want to brag but it is legit.

My Legit Bedside Table

Throughout last week the public school were out so Rafael wasn’t the only guy in the trade school staying thin night but Mauro, Wesley, and Iago got to spend the week at the trade school.

On Friday after working at the trade school, we went to Outback Steakhouse (pronounced Out-e-back-e Steak-e-house-e) in Sao Paulo, because Roberto had a immense hankering for baby-back ribs, I think he had needed some iron in his diet. Outback in Sao Paulo is the busiest restaurant that I have ever seen, the waitlist was over 3 pages long. Nata, Roberto, Rachel and I just went to the bar to get a table then I sniped one of the few tables at the bar from a group of Brazilians claiming the ignorant American card. Needless to say the ribs were delectable, and so was the dinner.

On the weekend, we met up with a person named Jarrett Benavides, a American who is living and working in Brazil, who had contacted R&R about helping at the school. We all went to lunch together then drove him into the classy part of Sao Paulo where his apartment is. The next day Nata took us to a town called Itu.
Huge Scissors in Itu

The joke about Itu is that everything is big; there were huge streetlights, huge telephones, big guitars, and they were selling big money, ping pong paddles, pencils and everything. That night we went to a Baptist church called “Igresia Batista.” This church was sort of outside under a old carnival tent and since it is really hard to understand a sermon in a language that I don’t really know of Portuguese, I decided to write all the words that I didn’t understand in the language journal that I carry with me. By the end of the service I filled 7 pages from words from the sermon, the bulletin, and the worship songs. After the service, we went to dinner and I had the bright idea to order a taco, but a taco in Brazil is not a taco at all but taco beef stew in a tortilla. Needless to say I will not be having tacos again.ß

Today

Today for English class we decided to show a movie in English with Portuguese subtitles so the students can get more accustomed to hearing English. We watched “Monster House” which I thought was really funny but the kids were not as amused.

Tonight I have to fix me bed since Peter the guy who stayed in that room before me cut the boards that attach to the frame of the bed about an inch too short. During the night the boards, tend to slip and fall through the bed so by the morning I have either fallen to the floor or am precariously balancing on the few remaining boards of support on the bed..

What follows some comical peculiarities of the country of Brazil.

In Brazil things aren’t exactly backwards but they are backwards, parallel, diagonal, and all other ways around.

Things Backwards

· Time: In Brazil, time doesn’t really exist. The traffic is so bad in Sao Paulo that you can never get anywhere quickly, and you are always late so to cope Brazilian people simply become easy going about exact meeting times.

· Crazy Drivers, Law Abiding: In Brazil, people drive like they have caught some sort of zombie-crazy virus. They will cut you off, force you into a median if you don’t get out of their way, and the motorcycle weave in and out of cars with the attitude of ownership to all of the roadway. But since the fines for speeding are so steep and tickets are electronic no one really speeds, but they will pass you on a curve into oncoming traffic.

· Elevator pilots: For some reason every elevator I have been here must have a uniformed pilot to press the buttons for floors. Obviously a normal person does not have the proper training to push buttons.

· Paper: Paper here is terrible. Toilet paper is weak and rough; it takes a thousand paper towels to wash your hands; the straw rapper extending trick does not work here.

· Bird Sounds: In America, there are some annoying sounds that birds make but here the Ginny chickens and all other birds make sounds equivalent to nails on a chalkboard.

· Pricing: Even things at Wall-mart are expensive.

Things Parallel

· Subdivisions

· Public Transportation: In San Paulo it is very good but it doesn’t go everywhere.

· Disney: For some reason Brazilian people have a love affair with all things Disney. People join Disney clubs to raise money for trips to Orlando even though they can barely afford their house and car.

· Speed Bumps: These horrible inventions exist here as well, further they are sometimes on the highway.

· Graffiti

Things Diagonal

· Handheld digital ordering devices: At most restaurants in Brazil they use these digital handheld ordering devices which take forever as the server hovers over you like a ghost, but most of the restaurants still have to use paper to communicate orders to the kitchen.

· Super-markets: Although there are supermarkets, they don’t have some vital ingredients for cooking. They don’t have sesame oil, bisquick, taco seasoning, fajitas, and etc. But they do have pig’s feet, animal ears and other weird things.

· Kids Play Buffets (Chuckie-Cheese): These things are everywhere but think more sophisticated than that lovable rat without the toys.

· Cars: For some reason, in Brazil people will spend more money on their cars than on their house.

· Stop Signs: Stop signs are simply a suggestion, they are taken as more a yield sign because if you stop you might get ran over by the truck on your rear.

· English Words: For some reason Brazilians make up their own pronunciations for English words such as “Mac-y Book-y” for “Mac-Book” and sometimes even use English words for signs and banners even though they aren’t quite sure of what they mean.

· Customer Service: Good service doesn’t exist here because people simply don’t care because there is already an automatic 10% tip added to all bills. You basically have to flag down a waiter for a refill and even have to make a commotion before you are able to get the waiter to give you the check. But for some reason only full service gas exist in Brazil.